I feel you more in your absence than in presence

I feel you more in your absence than in presence
those pink smileys in those old mails

feeling your femininity in small fingers with large nails

ransacking old FB chats, my insanity your bedroom photographs

Yes I feel you more in your absence than in presence….

taking first dip in the sea imagining you are holding my hands

sitting alone in the sand on the bank of river Soan

watching that single tree on the other side

unknowingly sketching the sand with fingers to create you

Yes I feel you more in your absence then in presence….

in the night waiting for the cloud to go, moon to appear

in scribbing something on the paper then stopping

just to sob, cry and breathe then smile to start again

in avoiding visiting the city we met first

in avoiding to see the corner we turned away from forever

Yes I feel you more in your absence than in presence….

in befooling my self by thinking time will heal our wounds

in remembering how you used to say society won’t let love flourish

in how I cajoled saying your happiness matter more for them than my caste

Yes I feel you more in your absence than in presence….


in believing you will read these lines someday

in hoping you remember those moments 

in smiling when wrote the first letter of this piece

in crying while putting the full stop